I couldn't shake the feelings of dread. These constant thoughts crowded out any sense of reason. "Do I know God? Does he even want to know me?"
Being a college student working part-time at the local Christian bookstore, I did the only thing I knew to do: I stole a copy of Billy Graham's "Steps to Peace with God" and hid in the bathroom. I thoroughly examined every word of the evangelical tract during my impromptu borderline illegal 15-minute break. I paused to pray, hoping that this time, this prayer would take. But until now, no matter what I did, I couldn't find peace.
Unknowingly, I had a hyper-focus on my responsibility in the equation. This exaggerated emphasis made salvation feel more like a transactional agreement than a relationship with Jesus. Rather than receiving God's unconditional love, I saw Him as someone who expected me to "get everything right." On the one hand, I was onto something. As seen in the Ten Commandments, the law exposes us for who we are. It's a mirror that relentlessly shows us every blemish we want to hide from the world. The Law calls out the reality of our situation. It shows us that we can't keep God's standards on our own. In other words, we can't get right on our own. The Gospel, however, frees us by showing us that Christ did what we could not do. He kept the God’s Law and suffered for those who had broken it. His vicarious life and death count for everyone; yes, that means you.
The Apostle Paul, in a letter to the Church in Rome, writes that "since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 5:1)." The objective reality that Christ lived, died, and rose for sinners sets us free, and we can finally have peace because of the finished work of Christ on our behalf.
Still, there are moments when peace wanes. Whether right now you are struggling to believe that God is for you or are worried about getting the next paycheck. How can we find peace when on a good day, our lives seem to trend toward chaos?
Here are a few simple practices that I've found helpful in redirecting me to peace:
Practice Gratitude: Focusing on the negative aspects of life can be easy. Gratitude, however, flips the script. By focusing on what you are thankful for, you shift your mindset from what you don't have to what you do have, leading you toward contentment and peace. I begin each day by journaling for a couple of minutes. There are a million ways to practice gratitude, and I've found it helpful to write three to four things each morning for which I'm thankful.
Pray: If you have a relationship with anyone, it's likely that you are talking with them. Prayer, or talking with God, is one of the benefits of having a relationship with Him. Take a couple of moments today to talk to Him about your worries and fears and ask for His help and guidance.
Read the Bible: The Bible is full of stories of people who faced uncertainty and adversity and found peace through their faith in God. But there is more to the story. The biblical narrative showcases a God who seeks his fallen children from the Garden to the grave, from Eden to the place of the skull. In other words, you will discover a united story of redemption throughout the biblical canon. Though fallen and disobedient, God pursues humanity, even to the Cross. Don't worry about how much to read as you read, whether it's a chapter or even a verse. Read and meditate on what you read. It is helpful to book and end it with a minute or two of silence. This exercise focuses me on what I'm reading.
Serve Others: We can make this too complicated. The world isn't yours to save. We are free to love our neighbor. So, start by loving the person in front of you. You can also look for ways to help those in need in your community, whether volunteering at a local charity, donating to a food bank, or simply reaching out to a friend in need. Often this takes the focus off of you and your issues and centers your attention on your neighbor.
Connect with Others: Community is the most underrated tool needed to discover how God calls us to love our neighbors. Connect with other Christians in your church or small group, and share your struggles and concerns. Being part of a community can help you feel less alone and provide support and encouragement. Also, your friends can remind you of what is true about yourself, even when you are blinded by anxiety and uncertainty.
That day in the bookstore bathroom, I struggled to grasp why God wouldn't take notice of me. I was wrong, and he saw me. I would later learn that God's love for me isn't contingent on what I do or don't do. It's freely given because of what Christ has done in my place. Remember, finding peace in uncertain times is a journey. These practices may not "make perfect," but they can point us to Jesus, who is perfection personified.
In this week's episode of MercyCast, I talk to Chef Brian Duffy. Brian is a celebrity chef, featured heavily on Food Network and Paramount's own Bar Rescue. His story reminds us that irrespective of how we may feel in the moment, we can find peace in uncertain times.